Paid family & medical leave would be really important for families like mine and that’s why I support the FAMILY Act. Right now only 17% of private sector workers get paid leave through their employer. Neither my husband or I have it, and we definitely need it.
Last year, I had a stroke. I couldn’t work and so I couldn’t afford the MRI’s that I needed. At that time I was making most of my money by driving Uber and Lyft. Drivers don’t get paid leave. My husband stayed home to take care of me, but he also didn’t have paid leave. I lost a lot of use in my right arm and leg after the stroke. I was depressed that I couldn’t help myself, and I hated feeling weak and unable to do much. The only consolation was that my husband dropped everything to care for me. He actually lost a job as a result. I wasn’t allowed to drive, so he had to carry me to all my appointments.
Finances were a major issue. My husband had no income after losing his job and I had no way of earning anything. This was mental torture for me and I know my hubby felt the same way although he never brought it up. Food was scarce. Utilities and rent don’t stop due to illness. Zahara Green is a true friend whom I consider to be a sister from another mother. She was there in many ways, including financial. We would have been homeless if not for her help. Being transgender often means that your blood relatives turn their backs on you. I have no support network other than Zahara and my husband. Zahara is Executive Director of TRANScending Barriers Atlanta, an organization that advocates with trans people who have been in jail or prison so that they can get back on their feet, get healthcare, and find community.
I have faced a lot of hard stuff in my life and try every day to make the most of what I have. I was in prison for 33 years. When you go through something like that, you have to build meaningful relationships. In the state of Georgia, once you’re not in prison, you can’t even write a letter to your loved ones who are still on the inside — let alone visit them. Even when they get on the outside, you’re not supposed to have contact. Some of the people I met in prison are like family to me, and sometimes we’re the only people there for each other.
Even though my experience with the stroke was scary, my husband and I still have big plans for our family. After I recovered enough, we moved out of Macon and Jack got a job where he had better health insurance. He is a trans man and it was important to his transition for him to get top surgery. He had a bilateral mastectomy in November 2018. He was unable to work for at least six weeks. During this time, I provided all the required care for him.
Jack was completely bedridden for two weeks. I had to empty his drains and record the output, assist him in the restroom. It was like I was a Certified Nursing Assistant. I was privileged to help him any way that I could. Again, Zahara was there to help us from time to time.
We also want to start building our own family. I am a trans woman and we are looking into ways for Jack to be able to carry a child. He’s 35 and I’m 57. I love the idea of mothering a child. My husband would be out of work due to his pregnancy at some point before and for some time after childbirth. To have paid leave for this would literally mean the world to us. It would allow him time to bond as a father to this child. I’ll be the full-time parent.
I’m talking to elected officials to urge them to pass the FAMILY Act. We need to make sure that every kind of family and caregiving is covered. Not only does it take a village to raise a kid, but it also takes a village to recover from health emergencies.
