A Coronavirus Mother’s Day

This year Mother’s Day was different. The COVID-19 pandemic meant I couldn’t physically be with my mother, as was the case for many mothers and children nationwide. But the physical absence of my mother led me to reflect on my own experiences as a mother, and the changes I’m hoping to see in society to support me and all mothers.

Mother’s Day has always had a variety of meanings to me. As a child, I celebrated my single mother who worked tirelessly for our family. I remember my sister and I making mix tapes — yes, on cassette tapes — to honor our mother. We featured every song that mentioned “mama,” from 2Pac to Boyz II Men, and we choreographed them with the best dance routines. Mother’s Day was a time to honor and respect our mother and show we valued the care and love our she created for us even though we had so little.

In 2009, I became a mother. The nation was in the midst of the Great Recession. I had no savings, and a partner who was supporting the three of us on a waiter’s salary. It was the nurse practitioners, the WIC counselors, and a badass squad of black mothers, including my own, who taught me what I needed to thrive and survive. So Mother’s Day became a time to appreciate the village it takes to raise a child, and the support of those who poured into me.

As I grew into my motherhood, Mother’s Day became a day of reflection for me on the parts of this world that still deem motherhood insignificant, a day when I stand in solidarity with the black and brown mothers who are told their lives don’t matter, that their care is not valued. During this pandemic, the media have further exposed the normalization of poverty and the incompetent policymaking that ravages our community. So for Mother’s Day this year, I didn’t want chocolates, flowers or nice words. I want advocacy and action.

I need a new economy and a political system that values my black life and the women around me. For Mother’s Day, we deserve a new government that is competent and will enact policies that value all mothers, regardless of race, citizenship, gender identity. We deserve the respect of an acknowledgment that mothers are the foundation of this country.

This Mother’s Day, I reflected on our country, one that would rather tear apart families than support them. I want a country that values mothers by:

• Investing at least $100 billion into childcare to fix our system, before we lose more than 50 percent of our providers. How the hell do you reopen businesses without childcare and schools reopening?
• Ensuring tens of million families struggling without paid leave, struggling to put food on the table, have access to a basic income;
• Closing prisons and reuniting the families of the 5 million children who have an incarcerated parent;
• Closing immigrant detention camps and reuniting the more than 3,000 children held in detention centers with their loved ones;
• Valuing birth and creating solutions for the more than 700 mothers annually who lose their life to childbirth in the United States; and
• Ensuring that the 1.25 million families with a loved one infected with COVID-19 have access to adequate health care insurance and mental health resources.

As a mother, my job is to protect my child and the children of my communities. I cannot tolerate inaction. I will fight and stay resilient. As our government fails to act, we must pressure them through collective action to demand change. That means calling your mama friends and making sure they are registered to vote, finding a political home and, most importantly, raising your voice to fight like hell for a new economy that values care, respects women and honors mothers.

By Sade Moonsammy, Family Values @ Work’s chief of staff.