Margaret – Caregivers Need Financial and Moral Support

Emergencies for working caregivers do not arrive considerately during lunch hours or weekends or days off. They tend to land, explosively, in the middle of a workday—when trying to meet a boss’s deadline or writing a report. Nor do sudden emergencies always reveal how much time and effort may be required away from the job to address them. That makes paid leave and employer empathy essential supportive components of caregiving, which is one of the most demanding and expensive good deeds on earth.

For 16 years I took care of my mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease. In the early years, I was working full time and she attended adult daycare. We scraped by on my modest income and her Social Security. When unexpected emergencies arrived, I sometimes had to leave work to take my mother to a doctor or hospital. Sometimes I would arrive at work having been up all night, providing care. My financial burden was aggravated by the resentment of my supervisor, who would glare at me and stare pointedly at her watch as I came in the door. I knew that no matter how hard I worked or how well I did, it was just a matter of time before she would find a way to fire me. All the signals were there. I worked through many lunch hours trying to “give back” the time, prove my dedication and save myself. Nothing I did was good enough.

She did fire me, blaming the recession. But I know that the real reason was the capricious and unexpected demands of caregiving, which she felt was not an employer’s responsibility to support.

There is nothing useful or kind about punishing caregivers by withholding financial and moral support simply because most of them are women accustomed to being undervalued. Caregivers are responsible people with high standards for love. They deserve remuneration and commendation for performing a service our culture claims to value, not a patronizing pat on their heads and the threat of losing their jobs.