Mu-huan – U.S. Dads Need More Time

I flew to Asia for work on the day our new baby turned 6 weeks old. At this age, the baby still eats every two to three hours, and sleeps only a few hours at a time, day or night. Surely my wife is the one who gets out of bed to feed the baby in the middle of the night, but I am the one who does the laundry, washes the dishes, and watches our older children. I want to be a supportive partner and make things easier for my wife.

My company offers 6 weeks of paid family leave and I took advantage of it. Then I had to return to work and immediately went on that business trip six weeks after the baby was born. When I was in Asia, I imagined that on top of breastfeeding every three hours, my wife now had to cook, wash the dishes, do the laundry, and run after our 4-year-old. I worried about her. When I called she simply said, ‘I’m covered in spit-up…gotta go, honey.’ I felt so sorry. I wished I were there to offer her rest, food, water, and encouragement. At least I had six weeks of paid family leave. I read somewhere that only 17% of employers offer paid family leave. I cannot imagine how these families are going to handle newborns. I only wish men in this country could have a longer paternity leave. Japanese fathers have 30 weeks. Korean dads have 16 weeks. I’d be happy with just 12 weeks.